Who decided that Blue should be raspberry? It's just this kind of 'creative' thinking that tempers my enjoyment of eating jellybeans. As a child growing up the confectionery rainbow seemed to adhere pretty rigidly to the rules of nature - at worst red could equate to a couple of berry-related flavours, both of which I liked. Everything was right with the world. Yet at some point in the 1980's some bright young spark hoping to make a splash at a marketing agency threw out the bizarre notion that colours should not necessarily equate to the flavours they historically represented. Down was the new Up.
The paragon of this blatantly dishonest attitude is distilled in the bowl of jellybeans sat in front of me. Red could now be any number of flavours: Cherry, Fruit Punch, Cinnamon or in a truly mind-bending post-modern twist a flavour called simply 'Red' which I guess could strictly speaking taste like the scarlet paintwork of a 1994 Nissan Micra.
The true horror of this situation only becomes apparent when you reach the last third of the selection when you find yourself unwittingly playing Russian Roulette. Right now I am hoping not to be the one who bites down into a green and blue bean which taste of Java, or a pink one which when chewed reminds me of a pavement in Edinburgh.
It's Skittles for me from now on.Thank you Candyman! xoxo