AlitaliaMore pathetic airline food last week. I was starving but so rushed to catch my flight I didn't have a chance to eat properly so I had to suffer through this horrid little thing they call a sandwich. I thought the Italians could do better but am not surprised as Alitalia has been having a lot of trouble lately. So after a disgusting walk through Milan's Linate airport which should be burned to the ground as it is so grey and depresssing, they serve this fake toasted panini which has bresaola inside a sliver of butter and a sliver of ricotta inside it. Not even spread evenly, just in these two hard lumpy lines. It was gross but I had no alternative so ate it. The other options were biscuits but not sure what those would've been like.

Lucky me, I sat beside a troll who snarled at me behind her bifocals. Why can I not sit beside a socialble and mildly attractive person who doesn't get the pillow stuck in their arse crack due to their fatness? This happend on my last flight to Toronto! This pre-Christmas troll had scary facial hair, a big gut and clothes that were too snug and too short which meant that the blub was hanging out! I know I am going to rot in hell but people, when you are that fat a little extra material goes a LONG way! You are not a size 8 anymore.

And if you are so fat that you don't notice a pillow stuck between your ass crack then you need to cut down on something. Maybe start with that bag of candy she scoffed on the flight - pre her two glasses of wine and Coke and her meal. Seriously I wanted to crawl into the barf bag!

Can someone from BA read this and put me in a seat at Easter next to a normal person? I should be flying privately, non?